I am tired today but it is only from a lack of sleep, which has been recurring the past week or so. Months, really. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, thoughts racing through my mind and I can't control it. I think it may have something to do with drinking my two nightly beers before going to sleep. I am going to give it up for now and see if it helps. I know that the alcohol is interfering with my ability to have a sound nights sleep.
At this point in our lives, we are living back in Key West. I like living here and I have a good job with Date and Thyme, the little health food store/cafe downtown.I am making friends and finding my footing. I enjoy it because lovely people work there and I get to eat good healthy food and learn about it at as well. I have been in a state for the past year, trying to figure out whats next, clawing at the walls of right now to get to the other side. But, I have the awareness now of this and so now, I can work with it and change it and settle into this life, right here and now.
The boys are doing wonderful. We are such a happy, little family. I love being a mom and Nick's partner. We have a great life and we are very happy together. William is still home with us, and he turns four in about a month. I have my heart set to keep him home until kindergarten and then send him to the Montessori School that I was a teachers assistant for. I have my heart set on this for a while, so I do feel like it is the answer.
Nick's jewelry business is up and running and catching on. He makes such beautiful things and I love each and every one. We made a website and he has his very own office. I get a lot of compliments on the jewelry that I wear and people always ask how they can buy it! I feel like he definitely needs to be out and about though, so people can come to him! Farmers Market would be cool and people feel comfortable going there to check out cool things!
So, Easter is coming up. We are spending it at my parents house. My Aunt Diane passed away a few months ago. I still can't believe it. I miss her very much. Ashli had the perfect words to describe it... "the world will never be the same without her." nope. not mine. I miss her voice and just her presence. I miss mom going to dinner with her. I just miss her. :)
Nick's grandfather also passed away last month. He is who William was named after. I only met him once, but I know how much Nick and Mary adored him. He was very nice and I am thankful that he passed on such a beautiful name to our son. I am thankful, also, to have had such a wonderful grandfather, myself. The loss is starting to fade with time, but I will never forget him and the things he taught me. I, only hope that he is watching out for me and is one of my angels.
I think of him when I see butterflies and I know I am on the right track.
My friend, Brielle, told me yesterday that the most important thing is getting to the end of our life and saying we had a good life and enjoyed our children. It doesn't always have to be chasing the carrot, which is what I have been doing. Instead, I need to focus on the here and now and enjoy the moments, pay my bills, enjoy my friends and family and take care of myself and my body, and the bodies and souls of my babies. Which means, lots of play, lots of laughs, sunshine and celebrations. That's what it is. The rest, its day to day.
Sometimes, I feel really overwhelmed when I think about tomorrow or "my plan" or whatever. But, a huge positive is that I have a great support system at work and they are really helping me navigate this time in my life. It is a great group of women.
I am a cashier there and I enjoy seeing all the neighborhood people. It gets a little monotomous sometimes, but I love working in the evenings and closing the store. It's a great feeling down there as the sun goes down and the air changes.
Let's see... what else? Maybe, thats all for now. Going to visit Jess and Easton tonight. I am excited to get the boys together and see Jessica.
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