Fare thee well.

Key West has suffered another loss. Mine and my brother's friend, Eddie Gates has passed away from an overdose. I feel bad for my brother because he was good friends with Eddie. I feel so bad. My heart longs to hug Michael and be with him right now, but I can't because he is too far away. I know he has dealt with so much the last six months and I cannot really begin to understand what is next.

Eddie got my brother and Alena together. He answered my prayers. I have memories of him throughout my crazy college years, all of us hanging out together. He was always super kind to me. He had a great voice. He liked my friend Rachael, and so it was in that way that I got to hang out with him where he would pay for everything and take us out on the boat. He was very caring. He was a good friend to my brother and for this, I will always be grateful.

This has been a heavy week. We started it out with a "william field trip", where he took me to a pile of rocks that have been laid in a circle right off of the shore of Higgs Beach. We sat there for a long time and the rocks became a force field around us. Next, we went to the Martello Towers and walked through the garden. It has changed since the hurricane, but is still very beautiful! I walked William through there when he was just a baby and took his picture in front of the giant tree that is no longer there. I thought at that time... "maybe I will get married here, in this beautiful garden." So much has happened since then. I felt bigger walking through there this time.

Here are some pics.

RIP Eddie Gates. Gone, but not forgotten. Dance with the angels.

Mom life.

Hello hello,

something kind of exciting happened yesterday! We were invited to our first school friend birthday party. Little Julius turned 6 and had a birthday party in his sweet, little home. It was so nice and full of so many friends that I have made in the past few years at Date and Thyme. I have met some really wonderful people who I feel like maybe we will be life long friends. They are a group of nice people and it just makes me feel genuinely happy. The party was so sweet in his home. I love seeing other people's homes and how they use their creativity to create a beautiful space. It makes me feel nice to see other people like ourselves, young parents who have what they have. Sometimes, I feel like I should be further along then I am, financially, but then I see sweet little spaces, like my own and it just helps me feel grateful and happy. I think our own home is coming along nicely and will continue to get better.

Speaking of, I recently watched a show on Netflix about tidying up, by the woman who wrote the book. Have you seen it? I love it! It is so perfect for folding laundry and getting inspired! I am going to get a big box from work this week and clean out my clothes first! Major organization on the list for this year! I, also, created my vision board for the year. God knows my vision board saw me through it all last year. This year, my chosen phrase was "namo Kali". I don't know the exact translation, but for me, it means a clearing away of what no longer serves me. My board feels very rooted in my essence.  It is full of adventure, travel, thinking, fashion and service. My center point is a woman surfacing in the ocean. It represents tranquility and pleasure.

So, on to a New Year and new possibilities. Here are some pics I want to show you!

And a Happy New Year.

Hello,

how are you? thanks for being here for me through a very difficult year. 2018 presented me with WORK! Work to release, work to surrender, work to trust and work to have faith. And while I knew that things would all end up okay, it was painful going through it and it's often, been painful to move forward. When I say pain, I mean literal heart wrenching moments that made me want keel over. And sometimes, I did. It was rough. But, I was tough. Magical moments came from the trying ones. I strengthened my bond with my brother and shared some heart to heart moments that will forever live in my heart. They have now moved to North Carolina and I miss him so much. We are hoping to visit in the Spring and I can't wait.

And through it all, life happens. Halloween, Williams first "Historical Halloween" with his school, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. It was different this year because I didn't spend one holiday with my mom and dad. They have retired, things are still working themselves out, and Nick and I did it on our own this year. It was good. Not the same, but good. Thanksgiving will never be truly Thanksgiving without all the fixings that I have known throughout my life. Mashed potatoes with rutabaga, creamed onions and my mom's gravy. It is the true staples of Thanksgiving. Nick and I did truly have a wonderful day/evening together and I am grateful for it. It was so nice riding down the Keys at night, babies asleep and full in the back and holding hands, just the two of us. Magic.

Halloween and Historical Halloween were sweet and joyful. William was Ringo Starr for his first ever Historical Halloween. Many more of these to come! I will always keep you updated, promise! He was so cute. Like, the cutest. I love him so much. He is my little five year old boy, full of weirdness and love. And Lucas is sweet and lovable and enchanting. I love them both so much and I LOVE LOVE LOVE being their mom. The day to day is sometimes... tiring, but all in all, I love it more then anything. Life really is a gift, even the difficult times.

Christmas was nice. It was a whirlwind and started to feel like a roller coaster ride. I enjoyed it and it was a beautiful thing, but I need to find ways to maybe pace myself more. This is always my intention... cool, calm and collected. I will do better next year.

So, New Years. New Years resolutions... I am trying to stop drinking alcohol and just treat myself better, in general. Not run myself down and just try to take things a little slowerrrrrr.

So here's the pics I have so far. All blessings.