Life's Path

I woke up in the middle of the night last (this happens often) reflecting on the past nine months and looking forward to the future. Sometimes this causes me anxiety, but last night, it was a nice, welcomed reflection. I started thinking about how kind I have been to myself through this process and how healing this has been. My body, for a long time, was hurting. Years of anxiety had started to build up and show itself in my neck and shoulders. My energy level was low, I found myself sleeping all of the time. I feel like I had lost my passion for life because it was so hard to do ANYTHING. Slowly, over the past nine months, I am finding my equilibrium. Although, there is still much work to be done, I have come a long way. As I have mentioned before, I am learning how to eat which has been a big help with my energy and the way my body feels. Certain foods give me energy, while other, sugary foods, make me want to take a nap. Eating and diet have been a large challenge for me simply due to being unmotivated to really make the changes. I am finding out so much new information and feel so much more educated then when I first started this journey. It seems like the foods I crave are the ones that I know will give my baby and I the most nutrition possible. I love fruit and will continue to eat ridiculous amounts of it even when baby gets here. Changing my diet has been baby steps, and one day, I hope to be able to feel fully satisfied with the way that I eat (my latest quest is to find a healthy DIY for ice cream!). This means more homemade stuff, knowing what the ingredients are in my food (by the way, exactly what is xanthan gum?) and replacing my sugary treats with more healthy alternatives. Another project I am finding more interest in is making my own natural cleaning products. It just doesn't feel right to be breathing in all those chemicals and having them on my hands. Maybe I am getting slightly OCD, but all for good reason! Pinterest is a great go to source to find just about anything and I have found a lot of simple solutions on there.

Another positive change is my yoga. I look forward to it every week (even when I am not looking forward to it, I am!). The studio and the teacher that I have found could not be more perfect. It is such a great space and the relaxing effects that it has on my mind are something serious. After class, it even takes me a while to come back to earth (this reminds me of my first yoga experience, where I completely couldn't find my car because I was in such a state of relaxation). I know that this practice will continue to play a significant role throughout my life. As I have mentioned before, I have been doing yoga for about three years (on and off), but the love and appreciation I have for it now are beyond words. It has been a TOTALLY different experience, using it as a vehicle to connect further to myself and my child. It is like a best friend, whose time is precious and appreciated. I also love the prenatal yoga. It teaches me to be so much more aware of my body and to really get the most out of every stretch.

Another amazing gift I have been given are the hands of a true healer, not to mention down right hilarious guy. I have had problems with my neck, back, shoulders and hips for a while now and pregnancy started to really heighten that pain. I started to worry especially about my back and shoulders because I want to be able to carry my baby for as long as he wants me to and the pain I have been feeling over the past several years really inhibits my ability to do things like that. My friend, Dr. Jonathen is helping me to really bring my body back into alignment. It is baby steps, and his philosophy is "less is more", but my neck and shoulders are experiencing almost no pain these days. Don't get me wrong, pregnancy does leave my body feeling like it's twisted in knots somedays, but I feel better than I have in a really long time.

My goal with combining all of these methods of healing is to get the most out of every day and to tap into my body's full potential of energy. My son is a Soto and is going to have LOTS of energy and I don't want to miss a thing! I have also started to add in a little meditation in the mornings just to start my day off right.

Big shout outs to all of my teachers and healers who are making this process a quite beautiful one... Dr. Jonathen for chiropractic, Angie Arkin for meditations, Heidi Golightly for nutrition and wellness, and Gretchen Mills for yoga @ Yoga Sanctuary. I hope to continue to learn and grow from all of these inspiring people and live a cleaner, greener, serener (is that a word?) lifestyle!

These are a few of my favorite things!

1) 35 weeks belly 2) bougainvillea outside of my yoga studio 3) our new garden of potted plants (we have grapefruit mint, sweet basil and aloe vera) 4) my sweet lovies

Thought of the day.

parents to be

William's aunties

When I count my blessings, I count you twice.

They say a picture says a thousand words. I hope these do. I woke up today feeling a tremendous amount of love for the people in these photo's, including myself =) Our relationships all have a story, a definitive beginning and a middle, which we are still creating every day. So thank you fabulous people for being a part of this life of mine. My cup runneth over with love for you. (and very soon this cup will runneth over with wine, which I will also count as one of my blessings!)

Answer to the chaos.

This week has been a really hard week for me. I have been really exhausted, mind and body. My mind is in constant replay of what needs to be done before baby gets here and how unprepared I feel. I have been in my "nesting" phase, so the house cannot be clean enough. My to-do list seems to be ever growing and I feel the physical demands of this as well. I am at a time when I am not working, which is forcing me to have lots of time on my hands and time to think and only to sit still. While I know I am working through some things, part of me wants to run the other way. These feelings are what I entered the yoga studio with today and these feelings are what I left behind. Time and time again, I show up for myself here in this studio. A voice much stronger than that of worry and anxiety is kind and compassionate. The dark clouds soon pass and I can see the sunshine once again. I can't even begin to explain the love that I have for this practice or how it has gotten me through the rough patches of my life. Today was especially wonderful because I was able to reconnect with William and feel enormous amounts of love wash over me while breathing for the both of us. Through stretches and breathing, I was reminded of what I am doing and how it is so much bigger than anything else. I was reminded of how far I have come in eight months and I was able to appreciate the discomfort in my body as proof of the hard labor that I am accomplishing, day in and day out. I was able to slow down and just be with myself and my baby. All things that are much more important than clean laundry and an organized house.

Our week in photos!

waiting so patiently for his bacon

kim's kuban for con leches

brie, raspberry jam & fresh bread

jaxy tricks

my bubby

After a mid day cuddle sesh.

making oat cookies

They are a two ingredient recipe, bananas and oats. I added in peanut butter, raisins, almonds and cinnamon! 

sandy feet

doggy ears

I love everything about my doggy's ears. They way they look, how they smell and how soft they are. Love, love love my doggy.

sunday fun day

cool corvette

I want to own a convertible one day and take road trips with the wind in my hair.

blooms

almost there

literally!

baby swag

Things to look forward to =)

Found this cute list this morning on my daily Baby Center email. I highlighted the ones that resonate with me =)

42 Things That Change With Your Baby

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. 

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

16. You discover how much there is to say about one tooth.

17. You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth.

18. You now know where the sun comes from.

19. You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have.

20. You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers.

21. You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night.

22. Silence? What's that?

23. You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having.

24. You discover an inner strength you never thought you had.

25. You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule.

26. You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?

27. Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes a dog.

28. You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late.

29. You learn that taking a shower is a luxury.

30. You realize that you can love a complete stranger.

spring love

31. You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place.

32. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do!

33. You start to appreciate Sesame Street for its intellectual contribution.

34. You have to quit watching the news because you see every story from a mother's perspective and it breaks your heart.

35. You just plain love life more — everything comes together and becomes better because of one tiny person and your love for them.

36. You finally find out the real reason you have those breasts.

37. Where you were once afraid, you're now fearless. I was always very timid and shy and let myself get walked all over … but now where my kid's concerned, I'll speak my mind and really connect with my inner 'b'!" — gummismom

38. The support you get from other people surprises you, because the people giving it are not always the ones you'd expect.

39. Nothing is just yours any longer. You share EVERYTHING!

40. No matter what you've accomplished in life, you look at your child and think, 'I've done a GREAT job!

41. You want to take better care of yourself for your child.

42. You can have the most wonderful conversation using only vowel sounds like 'ahhh' and 'oooo.'

Remember.

This quote always reminds me of my best friend, Jessica, who is going through some of her own changes right now. These March winds sure are bringing change our way! All good changes, but all requiring patience and trust. Patience in the unfolding of life and trust that it will all work out. It always does! 

This photo is another from our baby bump photo shoot. Reflecting back, it brings me feelings of peace and gratitude. It meant so much to me that my photos were as important to Nick as they were to me. He was so excited to give me just what I wanted. And as my photographer, boat captain, and stylist, he couldn't have done a better job. We had so much fun taking these pictures. I wish I had some with him in them but we will make that happen in the next couple of weeks! 

Today, I am officially 34 weeks, with 6 weeks to go! But who's counting? =) 

tu me manques.

Our week in photos!

Sunday mornings

Lazzzy days

One of Jax's favorite outings at White Street Pier

pretty pup

=)

just another day in paradise!

water colors

It was cold enough for a fire!

and bewitching boots!

learning to cook! I'm loving spinach right now. 

Jax is still the baby... for now!

yummy tomato soup & grilled cheese with spinach

frangipani's are starting to bloom. my favorites!

nature walks

Guess what this girl had for breakfast? Banana pancakes! =)

March kicked off with a cold front and it has been really nice to have our doors and windows open with the cool breeze. We are 32 weeks along and will be meeting William in about 6 short weeks, give or take a few days. We are getting very anxious/nervous/excited! William is moving around a lot and is very active during the day. He lets me sleep through the night, which I hope continues! =) We picked out a color for the nursery over the weekend. It's a light, sky blue. Very pretty and relaxing. We have everything we need for William's arrival thanks to the generosity of our friends and family. Nick and I keep talking about how lucky and thankful we are. We are amazed at all the stuff that we have and how it has all managed to come together perfectly. I can't wait to see the nursery all done and cozy and comfy, just waiting for William to lay his sweet head!

Pregnancy musts!

Lately, I find myself wanting to remember every part of my pregnancy. It could be the fact that we have entered the 8th month and William's time in my belly is getting shorter and shorter. I am very excited to meet him but I will miss having him tucked away in there and feeling him move around, knowing that he is safe and warm. So, for future reference or for any mommy's to be looking for guidance (as I was!) here are some key things that I could not live without during my pregnancy! I only included the healthy stuff because let's face it, the chocolate and french fry cravings are not helpful. =) 

1) my yoga ball- this thing has been a saving grace for my back and for stretches since it is hard to get all the way down onto the floor. I just lay across it and stretch out my spine and it feels really good. It also feels great to sit on it and reach for my toes, stretching out my legs and stuff. Supposedly it is also helpful to induce labor but more on that later! 

2) my Nike Free's- or probably any good pair of tennies. These are nice because they are made of some sort of stretchy material so they are super comfy when your feet start growing. They almost feel like you are bare foot, but offer enough cushion to keep your foot comfy. On days when my feet hurt and my flip flops aren't cutting it, these are my go-to. 

3) Leggings- I have always been a fan but I am living in them now. They are just so comfy and I love how you can dress them up with a cute top, wear them for work-outs or just to lounge in. They are also light enough where I don't feel hot.

4)Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy- Nick calls it my bible and it has been. Offers really practical, helpful advice and covers EVERYTHING. I enjoy reading the weekly updates and how my body is changing along with baby's. During my first couple weeks, it was like a god send. I was flooded with information from the internet and from friends, I didn't know what to believe! It was nice to have a one go-to source for all my questions. 

5) Cocoa Butter- I haven't been as good as I should be about applying it daily (or nightly, I should say... before bed) but when my skin starts to feel like it is really stretching, this stuff gives it the moisture it needs to feel better. It also leaves my belly shiny and glowing, which I love. I am sure I will start to use it more as my belly seems to really be growing now! 

6) fruit! - I can't get enough. I don't know if it is the h2o in it or what, but I crave it. And the juicier, the better. I love, love, love oranges and pineapple. It has also been really helpful in place of sweets. 

7) La Croix sparkling water- I am addicted. So is Nick. I have tried almost every flavor and I like the lemon the best. The carbonation seems to help me burp which is helpful for indigestion. I drink mostly water throughout the day, but this stuff is definitely yummy and not too expensive like some sparkling waters.

8) Epsom salt- Warm bath + epsom salt + quiet house = woosahhhhh. I started reading about epsom salt baths when the muscles in my back really started hurting. I put about a cup of it in my bath and it really helps to soothe those aching muscles in your back, hips, feet, neck, whatever! You will read mixed reviews about baths when you are pregnant, but my belly doesn't even get all the way submerged, so I think it's fine (and necessary). So, light a candle, put on some relaxing music and have yourself a much deserved warm bath. William likes it too =)

9) yoga- I found a really great prenatal class when I was about 6 months along. It has been really helpful. It is a nice time to just breathe and connect with baby. The stretches feel so good. Some days, I swear I am too tired to go, but I am always really glad when I do. I like being around other expectant mommy's too. It is such a nice thing to do for myself and a great, relaxing space to be in. I was a lover of yoga even before I was pregnant, but I feel like this pre-natal class is helping me to understand the practice and concept of yoga even more as I am having to be very gentle and really listen to my body. 

So, here you have it! I hope that someone else can find this helpful. I always did a ton of research before accepting something as part of my pregnancy routine so I feel confident in sharing this with you.  Plus, I have two nurses in the fam who are very tolerant of random texts and phone calls about what I can/can't do. Good luck and happy baby days!

Why I love being pregnant =)

sitting on top of the world!

There are so many wonderful things about being pregnant with my first child, but never did I think I would enjoy this experience as much as I am! This has by no means been a walk in the park for me. My first 10 weeks were filled with morning sickness that lasted ALL day, complete exhaustion ( I could barely get out of bed), and the worry and apprehension that comes with this life changing event. I am now in my third trimester and despite kicks to the ribs, midnight trips to the bathroom (at least one), some serious indigestion and a recent episode of him hanging out on my sciatic nerve, causing jolting pains up and down my right side, this still has to be the most wonderful, amazing gift. I am the co-creator of a life! How awesome is that! Sometimes, it is too crazy to even wrap my head around. To think that my body is naturally doing what is necessary to form another human being, it just blows my mind. I think of how it has formed life, lungs, kidneys, and a heart! All from things that were inside of me. I could go on and on about this, it's just SO COOL! 

I really feel that even though William was unplanned, the timing could not have been more perfect. I can feel him influencing all of us and he isn't even here yet. He brings joy to so many already! I love every moment of carrying him in my belly, feeling him move, daydreaming about things that we will do together and that precious moment when we first lay eyes on each other. I love dressing my baby bump and how my body is becoming so much more my own. I love watching Nick sing him his ABC's and play music for him (he dances to Bob Marley!). I love people touching my belly and the love that comes our way from friends and strangers alike. I love talking about William! I love hearing his heartbeat. I love taking care of myself and being motivated to do so because it's not only about me anymore. I love taking him with me. I love being a "we" instead of just an "I". I love loving him with all of my heart and knowing that he was created out of pure love. It's such a crazy, beautiful experience and I love that this is only the beginning! 

Missing You!

William's Baby Shower

A Picture Perfect Day to Last a Whole Lifetime

Yesterday was Williams baby shower (aka his pre-birthday party) and I think he had a really good time! I know I did! The party was held at the historic Hemingway House and we were surrounded by family, friends, good food, pretty trees, live music and PRESENTS! All of our favorite things! It was a day to be remembered, even  though I feel like it went by too fast for me to even take it all in. Lucky for me, Nick took awesome pictures and captured some of my favorite moments. My mom put this whole day together for me, with the help of my "adopted family" - the Pita's. Words cannot express how much it all meant to me. Looking back at the pictures, especially where I am opening gifts with Ashli and Jess, I truly feel a sense of sisterhood. I was very happy to have time with Jessica (who is newly engaged!!) and to be able to feel the comfort that only a best friend can bring. She always makes me laugh and this is one of the reasons why I love her so. I also got to see my beautiful, free-spirited, friend Analise off before she heads out to road trip to California. The last picture is one of my faves, as it is capturing a special moment between Evelyn and I that I will never forget. She is a  mommy and strong, sexy female who I very much adore. My favorite gift came from my Emmaly, who was so excited for weeks to give it to me! It came from Etsy and it is a crochet lion outfit, complete with a mane and a tail. William will have his first photos in this outfit. It is out of this world adorable. Everyone there holds a special place in my heart and played their own role in helping me get to this point in my life. 

Leading up to the baby shower day, Key West was getting it's own showers, complete with a gray sky hanging over us and cold weather. So, I was very anxious about how the whole day would turn out since I knew we would be outside. Lucky for us, we had the morning free of rain and towards the end, the sun even started to poke its head out =) Must of been all the heart warming! More pictures to come!