I woke up in the middle of the night last (this happens often) reflecting on the past nine months and looking forward to the future. Sometimes this causes me anxiety, but last night, it was a nice, welcomed reflection. I started thinking about how kind I have been to myself through this process and how healing this has been. My body, for a long time, was hurting. Years of anxiety had started to build up and show itself in my neck and shoulders. My energy level was low, I found myself sleeping all of the time. I feel like I had lost my passion for life because it was so hard to do ANYTHING. Slowly, over the past nine months, I am finding my equilibrium. Although, there is still much work to be done, I have come a long way. As I have mentioned before, I am learning how to eat which has been a big help with my energy and the way my body feels. Certain foods give me energy, while other, sugary foods, make me want to take a nap. Eating and diet have been a large challenge for me simply due to being unmotivated to really make the changes. I am finding out so much new information and feel so much more educated then when I first started this journey. It seems like the foods I crave are the ones that I know will give my baby and I the most nutrition possible. I love fruit and will continue to eat ridiculous amounts of it even when baby gets here. Changing my diet has been baby steps, and one day, I hope to be able to feel fully satisfied with the way that I eat (my latest quest is to find a healthy DIY for ice cream!). This means more homemade stuff, knowing what the ingredients are in my food (by the way, exactly what is xanthan gum?) and replacing my sugary treats with more healthy alternatives. Another project I am finding more interest in is making my own natural cleaning products. It just doesn't feel right to be breathing in all those chemicals and having them on my hands. Maybe I am getting slightly OCD, but all for good reason! Pinterest is a great go to source to find just about anything and I have found a lot of simple solutions on there.
Another positive change is my yoga. I look forward to it every week (even when I am not looking forward to it, I am!). The studio and the teacher that I have found could not be more perfect. It is such a great space and the relaxing effects that it has on my mind are something serious. After class, it even takes me a while to come back to earth (this reminds me of my first yoga experience, where I completely couldn't find my car because I was in such a state of relaxation). I know that this practice will continue to play a significant role throughout my life. As I have mentioned before, I have been doing yoga for about three years (on and off), but the love and appreciation I have for it now are beyond words. It has been a TOTALLY different experience, using it as a vehicle to connect further to myself and my child. It is like a best friend, whose time is precious and appreciated. I also love the prenatal yoga. It teaches me to be so much more aware of my body and to really get the most out of every stretch.
Another amazing gift I have been given are the hands of a true healer, not to mention down right hilarious guy. I have had problems with my neck, back, shoulders and hips for a while now and pregnancy started to really heighten that pain. I started to worry especially about my back and shoulders because I want to be able to carry my baby for as long as he wants me to and the pain I have been feeling over the past several years really inhibits my ability to do things like that. My friend, Dr. Jonathen is helping me to really bring my body back into alignment. It is baby steps, and his philosophy is "less is more", but my neck and shoulders are experiencing almost no pain these days. Don't get me wrong, pregnancy does leave my body feeling like it's twisted in knots somedays, but I feel better than I have in a really long time.
My goal with combining all of these methods of healing is to get the most out of every day and to tap into my body's full potential of energy. My son is a Soto and is going to have LOTS of energy and I don't want to miss a thing! I have also started to add in a little meditation in the mornings just to start my day off right.
