Would you believe me if I told you I was now living in Boston with Nick? So long ago, when Nick and I first got together, we planned on moving to Boston and starting our lives and family here. It was a dream that was so close to my heart because it was our first plan together. We wanted to be together and have babies together. Then, one thing after another and we ended up in Key West. But it always felt a bit sad, like our innocent, little dream had died. Until about a month ago when one thing after another went wrong with our move, with Nick's job, and ultimately, and sadly, my family. So we decided it was time to get out of Key West and come back to where it all began. And I must say, it gives me back something that I thought that I had lost. Being back in Boston gives me back a love for Nick that was so quickly taken away from me. I couldn't see him anymore. Our relationship was becoming full of negativity and while we will always stick together, we were losing what we had together. Both of us, going down with the ship. These words are hard to write.
However, I am slowly but surely getting my life back. Days at a time, I find myself laughing and just enjoying our son and really paying attention to him and not being a million miles away, not dwelling on my family issues. I am feeling lighter and more inlove with Nick. I feel because I have more time to focus on myself I can really work on and change some of the things that I want to change about myself through practicing meditation, yoga, mindfulness, writing on my blog, and cultivating gratitude. I finally have the time to focus on me instead of others. I can be the best mom I can be and take care of my family. I have the energy to give to them instead of my parents and brother and all of their issues. I can only hope to create more space from them and continue to grow as an individual.
I know this is the first time I am really talking about my family on here, but it helps to get it all out and to use this space to do so. I plan on starting my gratitude practice on here, starting today. One thing every day for 30 days. One moment of every day which is pure magic. Today's was one of the happiest moments of my life.
I have been trying really hard to get William into a routine. Awake at a certain time, breakfast, lunch, nap, dinner, bath, bed. I want to create a really wholesome environment for him, full of warmth and comfort in our new home and new environment. Tonight, Mary made a BEAUTIFUL dinner. She came out with it on a lovely serving dish, roast chicken, potatoes, rice, and asparagus. The steam was coming off of it. I was seated next to William, who was in his high chair and his face, when she brought out the food just lit up, and he said "wooooow!". He was so amazed at this plate of warmth and goodness in his Mimi's hands that she was bringing out just for him. And he held out his little arms to receive the whole thing. It was the sweetest, most genuine thing I have ever seen and I will never forget it. I am so grateful for that moment today and that steaming, warm plate of food for our dinner together.
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