I wanna see you be brave!

Would you believe me if I told you I was cutting sugar out of my diet? Well, I am. I am on day two and my body is reacting in strange ways. I have been getting headaches and feeling nauseous and weak. It's crazy. I have read how addicting sugar can be, but didn't think that just by cutting out a few cookies a day would change the way my body functions. Right now, I am really just trying to detox from the stuff after my glucose tests came back high from the doctor. Apparently, this is a normal thing (which happened to me in my first pregnancy, as well) but I do feel like I eat WAY too much sugar and need to cut back. I don't ever see myself being a health nut and cutting out sugar altogether, but maybe indulge on special occasions or when something homemade and delicious is around. It has me a bit freaked out how terrible I have been feeling from just not eating it for two days. At first, I was very upset about my glucose tolerance test coming back high, but cutting out refined sugar is something I have been wanting to do anyways, so I am trying to see it as a positive and a way to  become more aware of the food I am eating. I am curious to see once my body has detoxed if I will feel better and have more energy. If so, this is a win for me because with baby #2 on the way, I need all the energy I can get! I have been replacing my cravings with fruit and it seems to be working okay. We will see how it goes and I will certainly keep you posted.

Other than that, we are covered in snow with bad weather predicted for the weekend. Some days, I mind, other days, I don't. Some days, I imagine the sunshine and how it feels on my skin and think I would dance around in it if I could only feel it for a moment. Today, I imagined myself in Key West, eating a fish sandwich outside at BO's fish wagon with cool sunnies on. What a lovely dream it is. I haven't been having much of an appetite the last few days, but when I imagine a fish sandwich in the sun, well, I think I could eat three! 

Some days, I miss Key West so much and it is all I can think about. Being so far removed now, I am forgetting everything I didn't like and remembering the things I loved. Days that were pure perfection, fishing with Nick on a cloud-like ocean, going for walks, warm hugs from friends. Ugh, it makes me almost cry now. I miss some things so much. I don't know what the future holds, but a piece of my heart will always be in Key West and I will always be an island girl, and Nick and William, my island boys. 

I am looking forward to Spring and Summer here, in Boston. The arrival of baby Lucas will bring a whole new meaning to my life and I can't wait to see William as a big brother and witness Nick with his newborn son once again. Spring will bring new life all around us and I am excited to experience the New England summers that I have been hearing about since I was a little girl, Maine lobster, Martha's Vineyard, the Cape, all a part of me that has been hidden until now. I often feel that my grandparents, from their heavenly thrones, brought me here to better know who I am and where I come from. A treasure hunt, if you will. It is thoughts like this that motivate me to be brave and power through. 

Well, thats all for now. Thank you all for your kind words and positive reinforcements. I couldn't do it with out you!

(ps. can't forget to mention that William first said "I love you" on Valentine's Day 2015!)

box of love from mama