Where to begin? I'm tired today. The winter is really just exhausting me and doing nothing is even more exhausting right now then doing something, anything. I feel tired and bored and I just want to get out and go for a walk or something, but it's too dangerous for me to walk because there is ice everywhere and I have to be careful of falling! It really is quite crazy. I am trying to stay positive and use my "tools" as my friend, Angie would say. I am actually listening to a beautiful song right now, "Moon River", that just sang my mood. It was a song that had been appearing everywhere for me, so I figured I had better have a listen. What a gift of a song it is. Funny how music makes you feel like whatever you are feeling is okay. I have a tendency to try to talk myself into feeling happy, when I'm just not, and so today, I have given into my melancholy mood and will try to just relax and get through to brighter, sunnier days. My mama booked her trip to come visit in May for my birthday! I am glad she is coming and it will be nice to be around her. We will have fun! She wants to show me around her hometown of Providence, RI and while I have seen it, I have never seen it with her. It will be a really special time.
My pregnancy is moving right along and I have been buying things for Lucas. He will be here in about a month! I am happy and excited to meet him, but nervous in a different way than I was with William. With William, I was quite naive. Now, I am very aware of how intense labor can be and am nervous since I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I don't want any complications. I try to focus on my strength and tell myself that I will be fine... everything will be fine. It is difficult to not feel anxious about it though. It sure is a roller coaster ride. But, I will continue to focus my energy on everything going smoothly and perfectly. And amen to that.
Oh, Boston winter. You have kicked my ass. I don't know if you were meant for me and no buts about it, no skiing down it, ice skating around it, snowboarding through it. You are FREAKING cold, to the bones cold. We have really braved it out and my gosh, William has been the biggest champ of all. What a wonderful little boy he really is. If he is happy, I am happy. Boston, Key West... where ever it may be. However, as Miss Audrey Hepburn sings in Moon River... "there's such an awful lot of world to see." And onward we go.
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| mama in her snow chair |
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| snuggle buns |
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