1 year later (in quarantine).

Hello =)

wow. almost one full year has gone by since my last post. Tomorrow is Mother's Day 2020! We are under quarantine from a pandemic that came through a few months ago. It has been a very difficult time as our government has been under serious scrutiny for not handling things properly (what else is new?). Usually, I try not to dive too deep into politics, but it has been somewhat unavoidable this time around. My heart has been aching for what is going on in this country and my eyes have been opened to the way things are handled. I am very grateful to be who I am and where I am at this point in time. God has graced me in so many ways. I try to stay focused on this while I feel deeply what others may be going through and as a mother, it weighs heavy. I offer prayer and compassion for the people who were born under difficult circumstances.

Oh Mother's Day, yet another day we have invented that sometimes, makes me feel like bleh. While I will soak up the love I receive on this day and will try to (under quarantine conditions) show my own mother how much I love and appreciate her. I am pulled in many directions right now as the country tries to re-open with the threat of a virus lurking about. I have worked through these conditions at Date & Thyme and it definitely takes a toll on my own mental health. I am tired and worn down. We wear a mask all day at work and many offer their own opinions and thoughts on the matter to me. I try to stand the middle ground, but I, like a sponge, soak it all up. Over the past several weeks I have felt determined, empathy (as many lose their homes and jobs), tired, worried, scared, and confused all while trying to maintain a positive attitude with others and especially in my home and towards my children.

We had two quarantine birthdays! lol! April brought another trip around the sun to both my boys as they turned seven and five. William is finishing out 1st grade in virtual schooling and Lucas will start kindergarten in the Fall (real or virtual, I do not know?). There is talk of canceling Fantasy Fest this year as they predict that the virus may make a comeback in the cooler temperatures of the Fall.

And all the while, my mind races to keep up with what is and what will be. I see so many areas of my life changing. I find I am no longer willing to keep up with everyone else, but have to speak my own thoughts and feelings. I am somewhat unwilling to continue to go the speed that I was going before this all happened. I crave time at home and have been working hard with Nick to do things around the house. Our home is coming together and has an all around better feeling being here. There is still some big projects to do, like re-do the back deck, but we got a little pool for the boys back there which is transforming our backyard space and making it somewhere we actually want to be. The good, fun vibes were so needed after burying Jax back there last April =(

I know nothing else but to keep on going, even on days when I don't want to DO ANY OF IT ANYMORE. I often wonder, where is this all headed? Will Nick and I ever have the family business that we once dreamt of or is that too taking on a new form? Looking back, I can see why I needed to stay at Date & Thyme and receive the nourishment that it has to offer. It is a good outlet for me and I like to have money to show for it. I do not know where this will all lead as once upon a time, my goal was to just take the boys to Disney, Legoland, all the places! Will these places even re-open? What will I feel about going to a place that is a melting pot of people and ... germs. I do not know, but as for today, we are doing ok!

How I spent my Summer (part 2).

Hello beauty!

How I spent my summer... part 2. This was a good summer, full of the sweetness that only summer time can hold. We boated with friends, spent time with puppy, went to the movies, slipped and slided, and pool hopped! I can't believe it's over, like where did the time even go? I have lots of great pics to share!

This summer was a sort of passing through for me after last summer. I knew I was going to have those triggering moments of when things got difficult last year, and I did. But, I kept pushing through to the other side and kept trying to return to love. It has been an especially difficult few months after losing Jax.

But, I think we are on the upward and that everything is going to be ok. William is now in first grade and he is doing fine. It is taking some getting used to, but we made a new friend in his class, Noah. I adore his family and look forward to more time together.

So, June brought the concert and the major heat! July brought a visit from Brendan, fireworks, movies, and boating. August, a boat day with the Robinson's (getting knocked out with the flu), and back to school.

The boys are getting a long well. William's new teacher is very nice and he is a sweet little boy, who everyone seems to adore. Both boys are loving their puppy, Ollie. They are very sweet with him and snuggle him every chance they get. Lu is so adorable and just my little sweet pea right now. He is my little sidekick and has all the kisses for mommy.

And it's all just flying right on by! Next will be Halloween and the Fantasy Fest activities! I will update with all my favorite summertime photos ASAP!

sprouted a lychee tree this season! 

swimming at the community pool! william took a swim test (and passed)!

how i spent my summer... (part 1)

hello hello!

Friday marks the first official day of summer and boy have we been feeling the shift. The boys have both come down with some sort of cough and I have just been sooo sleepy. In all fairness, we have had a lot going on lately with the new puppy and just major things happening. Nick and I just attended a concert together at the Truman Waterfront and it was a nice evening with our friends. We danced and listened to the groovy sounds of Slightly Stoopid, a band that we started listening to a while ago on the ocean. It was so nice to get out and dance and just be in the moment. Not too much thinking, just moving our bodies and celebrating summer time!

We are currently reading two new books, and so far, we are really enjoying them. I am reading Where the Crawdads Sing and William is reading (I am reading to him), Pippi Longstocking. I love how they both focus on  the free spirit of girl. I love Crawdads because it's about a town much like my own. It helps me see Key West (and myself), in a totally different light.

Nick is officially moved into his new shop and settling in this week. The new AND improved location of Made by Soto. It looks awesome and I love it so much. I will update with pics soon, but for now puppy needs a walk! xoxox

moving up ceremony

Yesterday was Williams last day of kindergarten and it brought so many emotions! The morning was a whirlwind of baths and ironing clothes, and then at 10 am, we made our way over to City Hall to watch his graduation ceremony. They acknowledged the kindergarteners moving up to first grade, as a sort of induction into the school. I was happy, sad, and grateful. His teacher has been so amazing and sweet to him and this time has been so wonderful because of her. She has really acknowledged William for the little soul that he is, and I will miss her so much. I know William will too.

It's weird to think that he will no longer be the little guy on campus, but now will be somewhere in the middle. Kindergarten has had such a sweet, sensitive nature to it and now, that time has passed. It feels like now, we start growing up. You can imagine that this has affected me on so many different levels. I am joyful for the little person he is becoming, so grateful for the people helping us to shape his life, and sad that time is passing and my little boy will one day not be my little boy anymore. The greatest times in my life have been spent making forts with him, playing in the pool and hearing him call out for "mommy."

He has made really nice friends and done really well in his schooling. I am very fond of the way that they teach him at Montessori and it seems he has a knack for things like architecture and math. He is so smart. I love him so much. 

So best of luck to you, my William boy. We love you so much. 

almost summer

We are about to wrap up William's first year of school. I like this feeling, a feeling of completion and accomplishment. Some days were not easy. But, we learned and grew and made it to the end with a smile. Montessori is slowly becoming part of our family. We are becoming a part of the school more and more every day and I am excited for the opportunity to get Lucas accustomed to the school that he will attend in a little over a year. This year has brought us together in a lot of ways, even when I thought it would tear us apart. Nick and I are on stable ground and I am finding my way back into his arms.

I don't know what this summer will hold. I feel that change is on the horizon, in some way or another. I hope the warm coming months will bring us closer together as a family. I hope the storm is behind us. I hope our future is prosperous. I hope we enjoy our lives together as they come together more and more every day.

So, here's to the (almost) completion of kindergarten. Here's to sleeping in. To salty days and relaxing nights. Here's to peace. Here's to love and to the next chapter of our lives.

Our journey is just beginning.

mothers day and puppy time.

Hello hello!

Greetings 8 days out from 33! I am excited for my birthday this year and actually, feel like it's going to be a great year for us. My goals are to focus on my family and continue to learn and grow, and to know and love myself more. I realize that until this time, I have played it small, and not trusted myself. I have trusted outside voices more then my own and really worried so much about people's opinions of me. I am realizing more and more that I am in charge of my own life and that the opinions of others do not have to play such a large role in my life.

I want to learn to trust my own inner voice more. To trust love and Nick. To deepen my faith in God and to find a resting place in the unconditional love of God. It sounds deep, but I think it is perfectly simple. Rest.

Here are some pictures of Olley's first day with us.

trust list & puppy update

I recently watched a little podcast from Danielle LaPorte about creating a trust list. So, here is mine.

I trust:

• Nick to protect me and our family
• nature
• hugs
• friends
• my words
• the Gap (ha)
• Amanda Frances
• Vicky Shaw
• Gabby Bernstein & Danielle LaPorte
• prayer
• God
• deep breaths
• my body
• my mind (the knowledge part)
• my little Olly
• butterflies that represent transformation
• the Earth
• the sun and the moon to rise
• when I am in Beth's calm
• being on the ocean
• the mountains 
• the air I breathe
• that I will always seek and find joy in my life. Danielle describes this as joy through sadness, to return to joy again.
• that Nick will enrich my life.

We got a new puppy yesterday. My vote for name is Olly, short for Almund, meaning protector of the temple. He is full of so much sweetness that I hardly know what to do with myself or him. He is the littlest puppy and romps around the yard for about 30 minutes and then, comes in to snooze in the cool air conditioning. He is so good for us. At first, when Jax passed away, I said that I did not want another dog anytime soon, but this little guy is a burst of sunlight in our day. This morning we all woke up happy and excited that this little guy is now a part of our life. I want like five of him running around so I can just watch puppies enjoy the same things as I do, sunshine, adventures, and people, to name a few, so far. Oh yes, and napping in the AC! 

I can't wait to see what the future brings us Olly.  I hope it's beach days and mountain runs and just sucking the sweet nectar out of this experience called life. Thanks for picking us, Olly!